So I have some... interesting news. My companion, Hermana Galiza for a number of various reasons, is going to go home on Wednesday. It´s been something I knew would happen for a long time, and we haven´t been able to work very much in our sector because of it. So that´s been pretty hard. But this whole cambio has been such a testament to me that we were meant to be here.
Our first day in San Pedro five weeks ago, we did a fast, and again and again through out the day I was filled with the spirit saying over and over that we were there because it´s where God needs us and wants us to be. And as the cambio has gone by, I have repeatedly recieved the same confirmation.
Something really cool that happened this week was something called an Intercambio, where one of our Sister training leaders came into our sector to work with me and Hermana Galiza went to the sector of the other stl. I was with hermana Ollerton from Utah, and it was honestly just the best day I´ve had thus far in the mission. I re-remembered so many things that I had been neglecting just because of the situation that´s been going on with my comp. And I realized that although I was liking the mission, I wasn´t joyful, like in Elder Nelsons talk. I realized that my testimony here in the mission has really been struggling. Doubts I´ve never had before began to be a common thinking pattern, and I realized that I didn´t really know if the church was true or not. And I realized I´ve felt this way since I started 9 months ago. And so I started asking, and I began to read "our search for happiness" by Elder Packer.
And now looking back on this cambio, I can say that my testimony has grown so much. To be able to put a finger on the doubts I had helped me to overcome them and begin to experience an actual joy that a person can recieve ONLY though knowledge of the Gospel. More than anything I realized how incredible it is to know that we existed before this life. God offered us an opportunity to come to this earth to learn and progress, and that if we support it well, we will receive a glory unimaginable.
I realized the importance of an eternal perspective. The things we do in this life matters, but the suffering we go through isn´t without a purpose. People look at the world and the horrible things that happen and shake their fist at God, saying "if he really existed these things wouldn´t exist. But we need to realize that before this life we literally "shouted for joy" at the prospect of living here, because of the marvelous and perfect plan to live with God again and be like him. We trusted that Christ could save us, and help us learn.
The book "our search for happiness" gives this example: Imagine a rope that streaches out into the cosmos on both sides, forever. And then take a thread and wrap it around the middle. The thread represents our time on the earth, with the rope before the thread representing our lives before Earth and the rope after the thread representing the infinity of our Eternal Life with God. The things we do in this life matter so much, but the suffering we and others experience is but for a small moment.
This wasn´t a new thing that I learned, but to be able to remember, and realign my perspective has changed my attitude about the mission. I love so much and am so greatful for the opportunity to be a missionary. I know the Plan of Salvation is made possible by the Atonement of Christ. I love you all so much. Please keep Hermana Maria Emaliee Galiza in your prayers =) Have a great week!
Sister Ashlee Bowling
♥ from Chile!
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